Honesty really is the best policy

I see in Aaron's blog today that he doesn't have time to start a box business since he has so many other things going on. One of those things is "wash the dishes". Let me tell you the last time Aaron did the dishes. It was in June of 1993, eleven years before he met me. He must have gotten the "washing dishes" idea from the fact that AS HE WROTE HIS BLOG, I was, in fact, in the kitchen doing the dishes.

Now he is in the kitchen getting a nice big bowl of ice cream, which will mean my freshly scrubbed counters will be dripped upon and another dirty bowl and ice cream scoop will be added to the sink.

It's not that I'm bitter. I just like to see everyone be as honest as possible.

A Whole Lotta Baloney

A few days ago I went to the deli to buy some meat. Here is the conversation that ensued between me and the lady behind the counter:

Me: "I'd like to get a pound of this Italian turkey, please."

Her: "Which one?"

Me: "This Italian turkey right here. One pound. Please slice it thin."

She rummaged around behind the counter for a good five minutes. Finally she asked, "Do you see a package that I can slice?" Since I wasn't with her behind the counter, I couldn't really see anything. I said, "I guess you could slice the package that I see right here, couldn't you?"

Her: "Which package?"

Me: "The Italian turkey. (pointing) Right there."

Her: (pointing to the one next to it) "This one?"

Me: "No, that one right there."

Her: "This one?"

Me: "Yes. That one."

Her: "How much do you want?"

Me: "One pound, please."

Her: (taking it out of the case) "How do you want it sliced?"

Me: "Thin."

She spent the next five minutes unwrapping the turkey and trying to find the right price for it, which was clearly marked on the outside counter.

Me: "I believe it says $8.99 a pound right here."

Her: (to another co-worker). "Do you know the price for this? And the code?"

She put the turkey on the slicer. Then she turned around and said,

"How much do you want?"

Me: "One. Pound."

Her: "How do you want this sliced?"

Me: "I'm coming back there and slicing the dang thing myself. Get out of my way."

No, what I really said was,

"Thin."

She sliced the meat and placed it on the scales.

Her: "You wanted a pound and a half, right?"

Me: "One. One. Pound."

Her: "It's a little over one pound. Is that ok?"

Me: "Yes. In the name of all that's good and holy in this world, yes."

Her: "Anything else for you today?"

And, believe it or not, I actually ordered a half pound of provolone.